Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The bro code - Barney Stinson

This is a copy of the bro code of Barney stinson from how i met you mother ?

1. Bros before hoes. I cannot stress this enough. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.

2. Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK.

3. If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:

A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you're buddy's sister.

However, if it's your buddy's cousin, well she's up for grabs, and you're welcome to rub it in his face for years to come.

4. Never diss a guy if his team just lost a crushing game.

5. You must never own a cat.

6. If you get 2 tickets to the big game, the priority list for granting the second ticket is as follows:

A. Your best friends (in order of how long you've known them).
B. Your acquaintances.
C. Your co-workers.
D. The mailman.
E. The UPS guy.
F. NASA.
G. John Kerry.
....Z. Your girlfriend.

7. You are allowed to enjoy exactly one chick TV show, and one chick flick. (Mine are Dawson's Creek and Love, Actually). You may have no more. And if you like Grease, well, we're already too late.

8. Birthday and Christmas presents for your guy friends are optional. Beer always makes a great gift.

9. If you go the bar with your buddies, you must buy a round of drinks at least once.

10. There are no mercy rules when playing someone in Madden, hoops, street hockey, bare-fisted boxing, etc.

11. If you owe someone money, pay them back as soon as humanly possible—unless it's a gambling debt, which must be paid immediately.

12. Standard shotgun rules are as follows.

A. Shotgun may only be called within full sight of the car.
B. Shotgun must be called outside.
C. Shotgun calls last approximately ten minutes.
D. Shotgun never carries over to a second ride.

13. NO PDA (Public Displays of Affection). Hey, congratulations, another girl can stand the sight of you. You don't need to wear her like a ******* trophy.

14. It's alright to cheat at any game where money isn't involved. In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as "games."

15. Don't tell other guys elaborate stories about your weightlifting exercise routine. No one cares.

? 16. Never openly question another guy's sports wisdom, unless said information specifically pertains to your favorite team. It doesn't matter how ludicrous the other guy sounds telling you that Jake Plummer was better than Steve McNair last season, let him be.

17. When out with the guys, never accept a call from your girlfriend—unless she's dying or trapped under a burning fuel truck, and if that's the case, make it quick.

18. Always allow a buffer zone at urinals and on couches.

19. Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it.

20. Bros Before Hoes. I know, I already used it. I can't stress it enough, though. It is absolutely infuriating how many of my guy friends have become insufferable ***** since they've gone out with someone.
21. In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 bros.

22. A bro should not sing and dance at the same time

23. A bro should not watch Oxygen, Womens Entertainment, or Lifetime.

18. Always allow a buffer zone at urinals and on couches.

19. Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it.

20. Bros Before Hoes. I know, I already used it. I can't stress it enough, though. It is absolutely infuriating how many of my guy friends have become insufferable ***** since they've gone out with someone.

21. In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 bros.

22. A bro should not sing and dance at the same time

23. A bro should not watch Oxygen, Womens Entertainment, or Lifetime.

24. Bros do not lie about their age, exept to score with a slightly older chick who doesnt date younger guys.

25. A bro should not swing his arms when he is walking.

26. A bro should never carry a woman's handbag

27. A bro should never go tanning.

28. No bro should dye their hair

29. A bro should never refer to an athlete as a "stud"

30. A bro should never cry during a movie. In the event that he does, he must under no circumstance admit it to anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with.

31. A bro should not "pop" his collar.

32. A bro should not speak more than two languages.

33. A bro should never say "it's to die for"

34. A bro should not wear a scarf without a jacket or coat.

35. A bro should not wear an ascot.

36. A bro should never use the following words: fantabulous, ginormous & fierce.

37. A bro should never wrap a towel around his head after leaving the shower.

38. A bro should never "sip" and alcoholic drink through a straw

39. A bro should never wear a blouse.

40. If you are not living with a girl you should not have tampons in your bathroom.

41. A bro should not wear crocs.

42. A bro should not wear a leotard or do pirouettes.

43. A bro should never wear a sweater over his shoulders

44. A bro should not eat grapes from the vines

45. A bro should never rollerblade

46. The word cute should not be used other then describing a chick they want to bone

47. If you compliment a bro on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

48. A bro should never, ever wear capri pants.

48. A bro should not wear flip flops with a suit.

49. No bro should wear a speedo to the beach

50. No bro should make a kissing face in a photo.

51. No bro should wear girl jeans

52. No bro should ever get a pedicure

53. A bro should never highlight his hair.

54. A bro should not talk to another bro in the bathroom.

55. A bro should never sing show tunes.

56. A bro should never eat out of another man's hands.

57.Two bro should not share an umbrella.

58. A bro should not have "an outfit".

59. A bro should not wear a white belt.

60. A bro should never wiggle out of a pair of pants

61. "A bro will, in a timely manner, alert his bro to the existence of a girl fight." A Bro must never hesitate before communicating the possibility of fisticuffs between two humans of the female variety [[HENCEFORTH "GIRL FIGHT"]], in an effort to make possible and probable that another Bro or Bros can partake in observation. A timely manner is open to interpretation based on the initial Bro's viewing and processing of the potential feminine conflagration. Said Bro must use any and all methods of media distribution at his disposal, including but not limited to: telecommunications, elbow nudging, fiber optics, the Broney express, and postcards. If an informed Bro is unable to witness the girl fight firsthand, the spotter Bro is responsible for documenting and relating details of the girl fight via pictures, video*, or barring any other reasonable method, interpretive dance and/or pantomime. Tabling Bro obligations to witness a XX chromosomal scuffle is not only condoned, but encouraged

63. A Bro shall never reveal the score of a sporting event to another Bro until that Bro has three times confirmed it's cool.

64. A Bro may not speculate on the expected Bro / chick ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.

65. If a Bro, for whatever reason, becomes aware of another Bro's girlfriend's birthday and / or anniversary date, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless whether he thinks his Bro already knows.

66. One Bro makes a solo chick attack.
A second Bro provides a crutch.
A third Bro rounds out the pack.
But a fourth Bro is one too much.

67. Should a Bro be near to closing with a girl, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome, up to and including the seduction of said girl's wildly unattractive cousin / friend / mother.

68. A Bro shall honor his father and mother.

69. In the event that two Bros acquire the same target, the Bro with the longe

70. In a scenario in which two or more Bros are engaged in entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity, including but not limited to; the high five, the first bump, or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.

71. A Bro much provide his bro with a ticket to an event if said event involves the second Bro's favorite sports team in a playoff scenario.

72. A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drink(s) among Bros with the assumtion that no existing wager supersedes this purchase and exchange of spirits.

73. If a Bro suffers pain from a permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a "that sucks, man" and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary – deserved or not – regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite BACKSLIDE WINDOW has closed.

74. Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.

75. If a Bro is on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possibly to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work, or temporarily immigrating to a foreign country.

76. "A Bro never cries."

77. "A Bro may never pursue the mom of another Bro." Be it here resolved that at no point is it permissible for one Bro to engage in carnal delicacies with another Bro's mother. It is, however, allowed and encouraged for one Bro to graphically suggest to a Bro the athletic feats, animalia, and/or machinery utilized during a fictional encounter with his mom. Should a Bro discover his Bro is in fact adopted, he is free to pursue his Bro's adoptive mother, but only after first corroborating non-biological parentage through notarized birth certificates, hospital records, or comparative dioxyribonucleic acid gel electrophoresis, whichever is easiest. Since the adopted Bro cannot legitimately claim to have shared a canal with his Bro. Though the mom of a Bro is always off limits, the step-mom of a Bro is allowed if she initiates it and/or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing. If she looks good in it.

78. No sex with a bros Ex

79. No Eye contact in a Devils threesome ( 2 dudes)

80. Never make fun of a bros Girlfriend

81. No sex With a Bros Ex

82. No eye contact during a Devils Three Way (Two Dudes)

83. A bro must never call another bro just to chat

84. A Bro Must Never Saw "Awww"

85. A Bro must Never watch the movie Hope Floats

86. A Bro must be a fan of Mixed Martial Arts

87. A Bro must never take a bath regardless of being injured in a Backyard Wrestling Match

88. Leave No Bro Behind

89. When another bro is in a fight you must always have his back, unless he has done something recently which would deserve a beating then let him recieve a few shots then jump in

90. A bro must never leave without saying anything

91. A bro always be willing to do something awesome™

92. A bro must never chug any drink unless in a chugging contest

93. Bros must make small bets as often as possible

94. Bros must have a good time no matter what

95. Bros must make movies quotes as often as possible

96. Bros must watch the movie WEDDING CRASHERS at least once a month

97. Bros must watch the show entourage

98. Bros must never comment each other on myspace. If your comments are viewable on your profile it needs to be chicks only. Messeges only, but still never just to chat ( Rule 83)

99. A bro must never tell other bros he has a "broken heart"

100. A bro must never distract another bro while playing Guitar Hero.

101. A bro must never put smily faces in messeges, comments, texts etc.

102. If one Bro is an attorney, and another Bro finds himself in need of legal advice, Bro 1 will endeavor to provide said services free of charge.

103. Should a bro discover a new planet and/or orbiting body of subsequent planet, he shall not be allowed to name said astrological body after any girl

104. A Bro shall NEVER follow 'conventional' rules whilst playing the divine game of Battleship.

105. A bro must, at all times, suit up.
EXCEPTION: Funerals. A suit is a happy thing. If a bro must mourn, he shall do it in a white T-shirt.

106. A bro will always give a non-bro , if considerd worthy, a challange if said non-bro wants to join the brohood. The challange will be chosen by said bro, or other bros present.

107. A bro never hits another bro in the groin unless its a punishment for breaking The Bro Code.

108. Once a bro, always a bro. When/if The Bro Code is ever broken, said bro will do whatever the effected bro desires. If the second bro is unable to come up with anything, we shall revert to the rules of a Slap Bet, therefore the first bro will have to choose between ten slaps by effected bro or five slaps to be carried out at any point in time. If no bro is affected, his best bro must choose a modest punishment in public.

77 comments:

Anonymous said...

Legen...................................................dary!

Anonymous said...

the way to live

Anonymous said...

legen..wait 4 it.., keep waiting.., zzzzz waiting..., dary..,

bicva said...

awesome, no, legen....................dary

Anonymous said...

You do understand that this is a complete violation of copyright, no? Come on man - the author of this tome deserves to reap the rewards of this awesome writing, for your entertainment. A couple of quotes from the list is fair use, but seriously...

Anonymous said...

If this is the actual bro-code, then Barney is violating it at a regular basis

Anonymous said...

Leg.........................it,no,legen.............................dary

Anonymous said...

Leg...................it,no,legen......................dary

Anonymous said...

With one bad thing comes a good thing and although I know you are gay Neil Patrick Harris, I forgive because... You're awesome

Anonymous said...

a way to live indeed..
as i was told, it's not it..
i mean there is more..
once a bro always a bro.

Anonymous said...

what about "a bro must always help another bro out, as long as the first bro reimburses the second bro" in that episode where ted gets barney the condoms, and then the wine...

edub82420 said...

And so Sir Barnabus Stinson created these "Bro Codes" leaving room for future "Bro's" to add edit or create to their existence so that the Broings On of all Bro's will continue to ensure the population or Bro's and Females. And God said they were good, and the people did feast upon the fruits and vegetables, and breakfast cereal's and wombats and carp....wait I'm getting off topic. Long live the Bro Codes. AWESOME!

Anonymous said...

regarding #54 - isn't that how barney met ted?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
regarding #54 - isn't that how barney met ted?


They werent bro's @ that point.

Anonymous said...

This cannot be the original book. Half of these are from the "Unwritten Laws of Men". The actual book has 208 pages and I doubt there are repeats like here.

Anonymous said...

theres also a group on facebook with all 150 rules

Anonymous said...

lagen.....hopefully your not lactose and tolerant cause the next word is......dary

Anonymous said...

Dont worry.... this is not the Original Bro Code published by Fireside and Barney Stinson. Although there are some similar codes there are many additional ones added that are not true HIMYM Stinson Code (or articles as they are referred to in the Bro Code book). More over... who ever published this is breaking one of the most important codes which is Article #4: "A Bro never acknowledges the existence of the 'The Bro Code' to a woman. It is a sacred document not be shared with chicks for 'any' reason. No... not even 'that' reason."

Anonymous said...

Is this the "Looking ugly and not being able to make tough decisions code" ?
There should be some serious changes in this code

MPUA said...

What’s up with taking pick-up advise from a gay magician?

Anonymous said...

Legen... Stay back if ur lactose intolerant ... Dary

Anonymous said...

You have donne a stupid thing .

Article 4 of the bro code book ... "A bro never divulges the existence oh the bro code to a woman or another person who isn't his bro . It is a sacret document not to be shared with chicks or not bros for any reason ... No , not even that reason "

What you have donne here was divulging somenthing abou the bro code to the world .
It was bad man .
You aren't a bro .

Anonymous said...

Barney, ted and Marshall all broke rule #52 when they got pedicores.

Anonymous said...

I agree. chicks could view this site and probably have so you have violated the bro code in one of the most heinous ways and you must be punished. all in favor, type aye

Anonymous said...

SUIT UP!!

Anonymous said...

all awesome except that Barney has a pedicure in the episode "Atlantic City".

cialis said...

Interesting article, added his blog to Favorites

Anonymous said...

this is going to be legen wait for it.... i hope your not lactose intolerant because the last part is... dary

Anonymous said...

barney just violated a major bro code: never sleep with BROS EX.

Andy said...

Hey Bro, good list. Check out the list of 150 articles in the bro code. This site has them all.

http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2008/12/official-bro-code-part-1-articles-1-40.html

http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2008/12/official-bro-code-part-2-articles-41-80.html

http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2008/12/official-bro-code-part-3-articles-81.html

http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2008/12/official-bro-code-part-4-articles-120.html

vaibhav said...

BRO-CODE [>] DA-VINCE-CODE............... (HE'S THE HEIGHT OF AWESOMENESS..!!

Anonymous said...

Its funny that you can't watch lifetime yet how i met your mother repeats are on lifetime...

Anonymous said...

No its legen....and I hope your not lactose intolerant cause the next word is...DARY!

Ilan said...

to whoever said sir barney breaks the bro code, the one which wrote such a beautiful tome will not, ney, can not break it

Ilan said...

i mean nay

118 Bro Code Rules said...

My favorite: If a Bro, for whatever reason, becomes aware of another Bro's girlfriend's birthday and / or anniversary date, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless whether he thinks his Bro already knows.

Sam said...

Bro! that is awesome compilation.
it is legen wait for it.. dary...
good luck from laughwithcamera.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

dee wait for it lightful delightful

Anonymous said...

remember guys every single of those codes are easy to inflitrate you can break them all with wait for it unless she's hot yeah nailed it so guys this night was legendary you won't believe what just happen to me i have just been in a doubles three way with the girl next door awesome

Anonymous said...

Legen...................Wait for it..........................................................................................dary!

Anonymous said...

lets play a little game i like to call haaaaaave you met Ted?

Anonymous said...

awesome!!!....but still can be improve..Bros should have bros society or like government to guide and get connected..

Anonymous said...

awesome!!!....but still can be improve..Bros should have bros society or like government to guide and get connected..

Anonymous said...

awesome!!!....but still can be improve..Bros should have bros society or like government to guide and get connected..

Anonymous said...

awesome!!!....but still can be improve..Bros should have bros society or like government to guide and get connected..

danny fulbirg said...

If this is the barney stinson bro code he has broke it many times. Like in the episode where Lily and Marshall elope to Atlantic City he is having a pedicure.

Anonymous said...

many things to be said about this ledgendary work of art to be remmembered by the next thousand genarations. but for now im just going onto amazon.com or .ca to buy the bro code along with his other book the playbook

Anonymous said...

Barney always gets pedicures...

Anonymous said...

in season 3 episode 17 barney feels guilty for spending the night with robin because the bro code says never sleep with your bros-ex and marshle can't find a solution but i did when i watched the episode

nothing says the a woman can't be a bro and robin is an honorary bro as said by barney. and when barney wrote the bro code he didn't say that a bro can't sleep with another bro (probably because of his brother james) so barney has noreason to feel guilty for what he did

Anonymous said...

legen............wait for it.............if your lactoce intolerent leave.........dary

Anonymous said...

Do not agree with 108.
1 and 3 were broken and in my book he well never again be a bro. Also that punishment is not good enough.

Anonymous said...

awesome stand by!!! but dont lose the love your life by following the "games" rule. not cool man.

Anonymous said...

YOU READ MY BLOG!!!!!!!

Unknown said...

They were not Bros at that time

Anonymous said...

Legen-wait for it-DARY!

Anonymous said...

The She's not coming actually works!!!

Anonymous said...

If i bro finds out a a bros girlfriend is cheating on him he will notife the bro

Anonymous said...

Yo barney violated like everyother rule... this is some boot leg $h!t... but is legend..... daryy!

Anonymous said...

It's cool nd d '' I was left at d Alter'' will be ma first Trail. D bro code is Legen...... Wait 4 it, who hv seen ma ''pop'' Dary. Tank U

Anonymous said...

Now this is legen........wait for it........hope no one's lactose intolerant cause the next part of this is..........................................................................dairy

Anonymous said...

Guys m at last of this comment crap......shit..
WHOSE A BRO..........SCREAM WITH ME
I AM.................

Anonymous said...

109. If a bro is in an argument with a girl about the bro code another bro/bros must jump in and defend the bro code with that bro.

Anonymous said...

but How I Met Your Mother is sometimes on Lifetime...

Anonymous said...

I am a bro! Also huge fan of Barney aka Neil Patrick Harris. We are................. BROS!

KALE said...

BRO you are legen wait for it dary
I am huge fan of your work

Anonymous said...

dude im a girl an this is a public website your all idiots just the fact that you would fight over whose actually a "bro" should make you all not bros get lives do any of you have girlfriends?

Anonymous said...

You no bro

Anonymous said...

This is so gay

Anonymous said...

I have found the holy grail of, wait for it, awesomeness and,wait for it. legends

Dencho Denchev said...

How is a bro supposed to NOT watch Lifetime when I see they're playing "How I met your mother" ???

Anonymous said...

Legen........ i hope ur not lactose and tolerant because here it comes ..... DARY

Anonymous said...

FUCK DAT BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Your gay

Anonymous said...

Shut... the fuck up.

Anonymous said...

I agree

Anonymous said...

EFF uu bitch!! ..gtfo!!

Anonymous said...

EFf u BITCH!! ..GTFO of ouR site!!